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    February 28

    Silver Lined Heart

    I've been extremely lazy for the last few months and hiding under the time-tested excuse of being busy. I wonder where the inspiration to share my thoughts with the world (well, whatever part of the world that actually reads my blog!) and pouring my heart out has disappeared.
     
    A close friend forwarded this poem and it hit home so I thought I'll indulge in some plagiarism and post it on my blog. If nothing else, hopefully it would inspire me to come back and update this blog with something original. Till then, read this slowly and let it sink in...
     

    Silver-Lined Heart

    By Taylor Mali

     I’m for reckless abandon
    and spontaneous celebrations of nothing at all,
    like the twin flutes I kept in the trunk of my car
    in a box labeled Emergency Champagne Glasses!

    Raise an unexpected glass to long, cold winters
    and sweet hot summers and the beautiful confusion of the times in between.
    To the unexpected drenching rain that leaves you soaking
    wet and smiling breathless;
    “We danced in the garden in torn sheets in the rain,”
    we were christened in the sanctity of the sprinkler,
    can’t you hear it singing out its Hallelujah?

    Here’s to the soul-expanding power
    of the simply beautiful.

    See, things you hate, things you despise,
    multinational corporations and lies that politicians tell,
    injustices that make you mad as hell,
    that’s all well and good.
    And as far as writing poems goes,
    I guess you should.
    It just might be a poem that gets Mumia released,
    brings an end to terrorism or peace in the middle east.

    But as far as what soothes me, what inspires and moves me,
    honesty behooves me to tell you your rage doesn’t move me.
    See, like the darkest of clouds my heart has a silver lining,
    which does not hearken to the loudest whining,
    but beats and stirs and grows ever more
    when I learn of the things you’re actually for.

    That’s why I’m for best friends, long drives, and smiles,
    nothing but the sound of thinking for miles.
    For the unconditional love of dogs:
    may we learn the lessons of their love by heart.
    For therapy when you need it,
    and poetry when you need it.
    And the wisdom to know the difference.

    The solution to every problem usually involves some kind of liquid,
    even if it’s only Emergency Champagne
    or running through the sprinkler.
    Can’t you hear it calling you?

    I’m for crushes not acted upon, for admiration from afar,
    for the delicate and the resilient and the fragile human heart,
    may it always heal stronger than it was before.
    For walks in the woods, and for the woods themselves,
    by which I mean the trees. Definitely for the trees.
    Window seats, and locally brewed beer,
    and love letters written by hand with fountain pens:
    I’m for all of these.

    I’m for evolution more than revolution
    unless you’re offering some kind of solution.

    I’m for the courage it takes to volunteer, to say “yes,” “I believe,” and “I will.”
    For the bright side, the glass half full, the silver lining,
    and the optimists who consider darkness just a different kind of shining.

    So don’t waste my time and your curses on verses
    about what you are against, despise, and abhor.
    Tell me what inspires you, what fulfills and fires you,
    put your precious pen to paper and tell me what you’re for!

     

    March 10

    love, arranged or arranged love marriage???

    a recent conversation with some friends made me think about the beaten-to-death topic - what is an arranged marriage? how can someone have an arranged marriage? do arranged marriages exist in the 21st century? anyone from India who has discussed the topic of marriage with their friends would know what i'm talking about.
     
    it is very difficult for some of my friends & colleagues (especially in US) to understand the concept of arranged marriages - how can you get married to someone your parents introduce you to? how can you get married to someone you haven't been going around with for a while? how can you get married to someone you are not in love with? how can you get introduced to someone to get married???
     
    most of my friends have had "love" marriages and then there are some who have had "arranged" marriages - if i didn't tell you who had which, you wouldn't be able to make out just by meeting them. there are cases of happy and not-so-happy marriages, regardless of how the guy n gal met. there are cases when a guy n gal met on their own and "fell in love" and decided to get married in a few weeks/months. then there are those that were introduced by their parents and "fell in love" and decided to get married in a few weeks. does it then matter how you got introduced? can't parents be like any other friends who introduce you to cool (well almost) people to meet and hook up with? i agree that when parents introduce you to someone, there are extra levels of screening much like your good friends would do when they introduce you to new friends ... ok ok i might be pushing it a little too far with this ... but you get the point.
     
    gone are the days (at least in urban india) where your parents decide who you get married to and you just show up for your wedding. you get to meet your "would be" better-half and decide if he/she is the "one". the time window to make up your mind is usually smaller than what you would have if you were meeting people on your own without family pressure but apart from that, is the process really all that different? if "love at first sight" is true, then falling in love is time-independent process. and if it is not true, then you really need to spend lot and lots of quality time with someone to "fall" in love anyway. the concept of love is overrated anyway but i'll keep that discussion for my next post...
     
    so, the million dollar question is - is there a difference between "love" marriages and "arranged" marriages? have modern-day arranged marriages just morphed in to "arranged-love" marriages with better pre-screening? Remember - Match.com has a paid feature for doing that ... your parents just do it for free ... and arguably do a better job at it. <flame mails can be sent to idontcare@gmail.com>
     
    after much contemplation and after long discussions with the wise, the answer appeared to me. the much anticipated answer and one that is contrary to my arguments above, is - yes, there is a difference! confused? read on...
     
    at least in the context of indian marriages, there is a big difference between love and arranged marriages - if you can blame your parents for your marriage, it is an arranged marriage. if not, then you had a love marriage and you gotta take the blame for it!  
     
    this definition seems to work quite well for most people i know - what do YOU think?
     
     
    p.s. as this has become an FAQ - NO, i'm not getting in to a love or an arranged marriage anytime soon.
    May 29

    Sikhism - Faith not Religion

    My first ever "contribution" to all the material available on internet was a very modest website that I created on Sikhism. The site had a collection of stuff I had happily stolen er... sorry, borrowed from other sources. <Hey, I was 14 then and those were the days of 28.8K modems!!!> The only thing original was an article that I wrote to argue that Sikhism is not a religion as the term religion is understood today - it is a way of life and it is a faith. Anyway, this post is not about my website, my article or how I define "religion".
     
    I was going through some websites of free thinkers and atheists, when I came across this very interesting email that was posted on one of the websites. The excerpt from the mail below is a conversation between Dr John Smith (Atheist Society US & author of The Theory of Evolution) and Ali Sina (the ex-Muslim behind the website www.faithfreedom.org). I did some basic research to make sure that these people do exist but I don't really care if this is a true email or not. What I care about is the fact that this email summarizes some very basic facts about Sikhism quite well. After reading this excerpt, I felt a sense of pride in who I am and my decision to be who I choose to be. So, check out this email:
     

    Dear Ali, Please help us. We were very impressed with your website and agreed that religion in general is no longer needed. We can all be humanistic and live in peace and harmony. We are in the process of making a website which will hopefully help to destroy the religious doctrines which divide humanity. We were doing great with knocking out Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Baha'i, [and] even Buddhism but we have gotten very stuck with Sikhism. This religion is (to put it nicely) "a big pain in the back-side" (Please pardon the language). We have only found one site, which tries (very poorly) to argue that even this religion is not needed. But the argument is irrational and very unscientific unlike the very rational arguments you use. When we read the following from your website, we found what you said to be amazingly interesting: "Doubt Everything Find Your Own Light."


    "Last Words Dear friend, if you look for meaning in life, don't look for it in religions; don't go from one cult to another or from one guru to the next. You can expend all your life or look for eternity and will find nothing but disappointment and disillusionment. Look instead in service to humanity. You will find "meaning" in your love for other human beings. You can experience God when you help someone who needs your help. The only truth that counts is the love that we have for each other. This is absolute and real. The rest is mirage, fancies of human imagination and fallacies of our own making." By Ali Sina. Why is this interesting? Because we found this religion of Sikhism to be in agreement with you! This is why we have a problem. We tried to look at their holy text (Adi Granth) but didn't find the usual absurdities we found in the other religious books. In fact it's refreshingly inspiring and very good! Maybe you can have some better luck. We tried to visit a couple of websites and got more of a shock. Did you know that they believed in Democracy, freedom of speech, choice, _expression, freedom of religion, pluralism, human rights, equality between men and women, equality of all people regardless of race, religion, caste, creed, status etc. 300 years before the existence of the USA! Theirs is the only religion, which says in their religious scriptures that women are equal in every respect to men. They even had women soldiers leading armies in to battle against "you know who" (The usual suspects - Muslims!) Their history is a proud one. They fought in both World Wars. Even Hitler praised them for their bravery and Aryan heritage! Dear Ali, this religion is hard for us to try and criticize but you are an expert and may find some faults overlooked by us. In their holy book, there is a round earth, water is made from chemical elements, there is even mention of the evolution process, big bang and life on other planets! This is pretty crazy and amazing stuff. Who would have thought that these New York taxi drivers (there are lots of Sikh taxi drivers in NY) would have such an amazing faith? We read up some information of what Bertrand Russell had to say about Sikhism. This is the man who destroyed Christianity (same applies to Islam and Judaism) and exposed its absurdities, but even this great man got stuck when it came to Sikhism! In fact he gave up and said "that if some lucky men survive the onslaught of the third world war of atomic and hydrogen bombs, then the Sikh religion will be the only means of guiding them." Russell was asked that he was talking about the third world war, but isn't this religion capable of guiding mankind before the third world war? In reply, Russell said, "Yes, it has the capability, but the Sikhs have not brought out in the broad daylight, the splendid doctrines of this religion which has come into existence for the benefit of the entire mankind. This is their greatest sin and the Sikhs cannot be freed of it."

    Please bear in mind that Bertrand Russell was a great philosopher and free-thinker. We have been trying for weeks now to find a way to fairly and rationally criticize and find fault with this religion but have failed. We even found out that there are many people converting to this religion in the USA and Europe as well as Russia (mostly well educated and affluent white people). We tried to find some of their literature and see what kind of claims they make, but unfortunately they have no missionary material as they do not have missionaries! People become Sikh by learning usually by chance or by coming in to contact with them. They are currently the 5 th biggest religion in the world and growing quite fast in the west and Russia. Please help us as we are stuck to give you examples of [what] they are all about. We found the following websites: http://www.sikhnet.com (this is a pretty good site and helpful); http://www.hope.at/sikhism (this site is very easy to follow. Check it out. They have a Woman's section and a Martyrs section. It looks like that you are not the only one trying to expose the falseness of Islam, Sikhs scholars did it hundreds of years ago and got killed for it!); and http://www.sikhs.org (this is the site that was on CNN when Sikhs in the USA were mistaken for Arabs and Middle Easterners and were attacked by mindless morons).Please help us out, we can't make our website about religion being the cause of war and disharmony when we have this one and only religion which makes a hell of a lot of sense! Lol. (I thought Atheism had all the answers but we're kind of stuck now.) We look forward to hearing from you. We respect your great views and want to promote them to everyone. Thank you for your time.

    Take care.

    Dr. John Smith

    May 27

    God is crazy about you...

    Yes, you read the title correctly - God is crazy about you!
     
    Seriously, just think about it:
    • S/He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
    • When no one is on your side, S/He is.
    • S/He doesn't judge you.
    • Whenever you want to talk, S/He'll listen.
    • S/He can live anywhere in the universe, and S/He chose your heart!
    This is better than any relationship I  have ever had . I'm so in love with Him!
     
    January 29

    sideline or the play-field?

    i just got back after watching the new amir khan movie - rang de basanti ... based on the movie promos, we went in with the expectation that it'll be another "chilled out" flick like one of his previous movies - dil chahta hai and the first half of the movie did live up to that expectation (for the hardcore movie critics - yes, i do have more tolerance for over-dramatized situational comedy).
     
    the story in the second half of the movie changed quite dramatically and to a topic that is very close to my heart - why do most of us spend our lives making compromises and not change the things we don't like? why do we accept things for how they are but not people for who they are? why don't we fight to change things? can we even change them? can we make a difference? can individuals make a difference or does it have to be god-sent messiahs that can change this world?
     
    the movie might be a bit over-dramatized but it does drive the point home - it is easy to sit on the sideline and complain about things that are broken in this game called life but it takes real heroes to jump in to the field and fix them. and the best part - these heroes are ordinary people who choose to do extra-ordinary things when others don't.
     
    i really don't know what drives these ordinary people to sacrifice everything -  love, family, friends, life ... how can they believe in something so much that nothing else matters? and for what? i know that real heroes don't get rewarded in real life (at least in the worldly sense)... is there some reward waiting for them in the other world - the life after or the next life? these are some of the questions i grapple with and i'm not sure if i'll be able to answer these in this lifetime...
     
    but every so often i come across a book, movie, song, quote or a person that gets me closer to the answer. jonathan livingston seagull was my first such step in this direction and ever since i have been fortunate enough to find more stepping stones... this movie turned out to be another. it helped me get one more step closer to the answers i've been seeking for almost forever...
     
    more than these questions, what i really think about is - will i spend my life on the sideline or will i actually jump in to the play-field? will i ever find the one thing i believe in with all my heart that will push me in to the fight? what will that be? will that be my "purpose" in life? the very purpose i've been searching for ever since i can remember the definition of the word purpose...
     
    while i mull over these thoughts, i'll sign-off on this blog post with a salute to the people who step up to the challenge and make the world a better place to live in for the rest of us...
     
    God Bless Them!
    January 12

    It's all about ATTITUDE

    With every passing day, I believe more and more in the role of attitude in one's life.
     
    Attitude to me is more important than facts.  It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearances or skill. 
     
    More and more successful and happy people I see and observe, the more I'm convinced that ATTITUDE is what makes all the difference. The funny thing is that our attitude (and hence our success/joy) is actually in our hands - we make a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the one thing WE can control and that is our ATTITUDE...
     
    I am convinced that life is 1% what happens to me and 99% how I react to it. At the end of the day, it's all about ATTITUDE...
     
    <i actually woke up in the middle of the night to write this.... boy, i'm losing it!!!>